Gift dos and don’ts for cougars

You might want to give your cougar lady a special treat now and again – and they do still have birthdays even if they won’t admit it. Just don’t mention figures! Here are some gift ideas for the older woman, which can also be suitable for cougar toyboy dating:

Do Lingerie: You can sneakily discover her size by looking at the heatedly removed undergarments scattered around the bedroom. Quickly check her size when she pops out to the bathroom. It might be considered too rude to ask. Think sophisticated colours such as deep purples or cream and ‘naked’ colours. Girly pinks, slogans and too many frills might be too teenage. Although she wants to feel young, she doesn’t want to feel like mutton dressed as lamb. You should have a pretty good idea of her preferred colours – take note when checking out the labels. A matching set makes a good gift, which you will both appreciate time and time again…

Do Vouchers from her favourite shop. Many people think vouchers are a last-minute cop-out, but I disagree. It’s nice to have a shopping trip look forward to. Make it a bit more special by offering to come along too. Make a day of it: also do lunch or go to the cinema or a gallery.

Do Spa session: Ladies love a relaxing pamper day. Again, perhaps you could arrange to go together and meet up in the whirlpool after each having a massage. All those bubbles and steam baths can provide for a deeply relaxing precursor to sex. Just try to wait ‘til you get home or you might find yourselves featured in the local rag!

Don’ts:

Chocolates – she might be watching her weight.
Cheap perfume – she doesn’t want to smell like a hotel toilet.
Kitchen utensils/ equipment – now come on toyboys, these are liberated ladies!
Make-up – she knows what she likes; you probably don’t.

February 16th, 2011 . Posted in Toy Boy Tips | No Comments »

Toyboy hangouts – part 1

Apart from this site, of course, where can cougar ladies find tasty toyboys to play with in everyday life? Here are some ideas:

Wi-Fi zone/ Internet café:

These places are often staffed by hunky young baristas. Also, young men love to hang out where they can play with technology and sup a decent cuppa. Anywhere that enables good connectivity will attract them.

Taking your laptop might be a good excuse to start a conversation such as, ‘how strong’s your connection? Mine’s great, come and sit over here (pat-pat-pat)!’ Or, if you’re having technical problems, mister barista might be willing to help out. He’ll have to lean over your shoulder to get a better view. Plan ahead – wear that ever-so-slightly-revealing top, just in case!

If your targeted toyboy has his nose glued to an android phone, ask him what the latest funky apps are. Or, if you need to know any information and you haven’t yet graduated to android, you could use this as a way to start a conversation. Boys love to show off their toys. Ask him for directions, or even if there’s a sexy lingerie shop nearby. I’ve noticed than men in general are increasingly to be found fiddling with their hand-helds in public!

Public spaces/ parks:

Take care with your choice – some parks are perpetually inhabited by over-friendly down-and-outs clutching whisky bottles in paper bags. Keep to well-populated areas. I’m thinking summery weekday lunchtimes in public squares and green spaces. Anywhere that sees people kicking back from a hard morning’s work, catching some rays and admiring the view (you). Perhaps you can happen to be there at the same time every day if you clap eyes on toyboy temptation. Don’t be stalky about it though – no following allowed!

If you’re eating lunch, think about crumbs – that filo pastry tart will just make you look like you need a bib rather than showing off those sumptuous lips. Think crisps or grapes – they can be offered and shared. If it’s a windy day, your napkin might just flutter onto his lap…

February 1st, 2011 . Posted in Cougar Coach | No Comments »

Cougar toyboy love-scripts

Eastenders’ cougar toyboy storylines are still bubbling away, keeping Carol and Connor on a rolling boil. This week, Connor mentions the ‘L’ word, which refreshingly shows the toyboy as the keener partner. This sends Carol running scared, despite her being hot for him. Who wouldn’t be, with that buff body and come-to-bed deep brown eyes? ‘Faaaamily’ issues are stopping her from going public not because of age shame, but because Connor is a crafty piece of work who was partly responsible for her brother’s shooting!

I’m still a bit disappointed that this storyline is hinting at Carol trying to replace her dead son – she makes a corker of a Freudian slip by using Billy’s name instead of Connor’s in the last episode. Why can’t it simply be about an older woman being liberated enough to take, and savour, what’s on offer in joyful sexual abandon? Although the situation between the two characters has enticing twists, Eastenders seem determined that cougars are mostly lonely older women with mothering issues. And we know that’s not always the case, don’t we?

They also show Glenda, glamourpuss granny and other Eastenders cougar, to be slightly damaged. She’s trying to overcome her love woes with a self-help book. This is mainly because Phil, abusive Neanderthal womaniser, has dumped her. Never mind that he happens to be her nephew! Only in soap-land, perhaps…

Still, it’s great that TV soaps make an effort to stay bang up-to-date by portraying age-gap dating. And, I like the fact that Glenda and Carol are flat-sharing, footloose and fancy-free cougar grannies! But Eastenders scriptwriters don’t treat their cougar toyboy pairings as credible relationships.

January 20th, 2011 . Posted in Cougar/Toy Boy Gossip | No Comments »

Purrfect cougar cruising

If you fancy the sort of getaway with no chance of escape (from prowling cougars) then perhaps a cougar cruise is just right for you. The word ‘cruise’ is dually appropriate in this instance…

In December, Norwegian Cruise Line took 120 singles – older ladies, younger men – on a three-day break from Florida to the Bahamas. Each single on the trip wore a black ‘available’ wristlet in order that eager cougar toyboy dates could easily identify one another and gain entry to the onboard Cougar Cruise parties. The trip was organised by California’s Singles Travel Company and was the third such adventure.

Satisfied female passengers commented that, in Florida, the ratio of middle-aged women to men of the same age is 20:1. So, it’s a necessary exploit for midlife ladies to go in search of fun among the younger age group where there’s a larger pool teaming with fresh catches waiting to be hooked. Fifty-eight older women and sixty-nine young men cruised the balmy Bahamian seas so there was plenty of choice for the Florida ladies. I expect some managed to trawl a multiple catch so I doubt any toyboys were left high and dry.

The next cougar cruise is set to take place in the Mediterranean from April 16^th-21^st 2011. With beautiful views both onboard and out to sea, why not take the plunge to see if it floats your boat as a novel new way to meet the cougar/ toyboy of your dreams?

January 4th, 2011 . Posted in Toy Boy Tips | No Comments »

Cougar Christmas crackers

Remember, a toy boy is not just for Christmas… He might not be forever either, but you’ll probably still want to give him a little festive gift.

Last year, I suggested your good self as a possible filler for a nice pair of stockings, which is lovely but not quite selfless once he’s unwrapped you. So, think small gadgetry or humorous personalised items. He might like manly treaty food such as exotic recipe dark chocolate, or try the specialist food section of a fancy supermarket if you know his taste. How about a token from a music store? Underwear and socks should probably be reserved as a gift from his mother, so avoid those. Think fun, and you won’t go far wrong.

Have you decided whether or not you’re each going to be meeting family this Christmas? As with any relationship, whether or not you choose to do Christmas together depends on what level you’re at. Although, we know that family might not accept your cougar toyboy hook-up in the welcoming way they’d accept a same-age relationship, so be prepared for veiled and not-so-veiled comments from relatives. Offspring could prove to be problematic in this respect, especially if a toyboy is taking the place of dad at the dinner table for the first time! Perhaps you could think about seating arrangements and put your eldest, or yourself, at dad’s former place at the table – not your toyboy!

Christmas can go either way – people can be on their best behaviour to begin with, but a few glasses of sherry can unleash any sarcastic tongue that wants to give you a good lashing. So, tread carefully. You might be lucky enough to have broad-minded relatives, but if you can’t face it, you can always keep in touch by texting: Your family will just have to wonder what has given you that mysterious rosy glow which is emanating more heat than the Christmas log.

December 17th, 2010 . Posted in Cougar Coach | No Comments »

Cockney cougar Carol

The role of Eastenders cougar has recently been swiped from gorgeous Glenda’s grasp and been taken over by frumpy downtrodden Carol, of all people.

It’s a strangely touching yet twisted storyline involving Carol seemingly trying to ‘save’ her dead son’s best mate – the one that helped lure Billy into gangland trouble. Carol is trying to make up for her failings with Billy by doing right by Connor. She’s taking a somewhat alternative tack with Connor, giving him a tad more than the (s)motherly love she bestowed on her son.

Their mutual empathy over Billy’s death cooled Carol’s anger towards Connor, but things soon reheated into bodice-ripping passion over Pat’s kitchen table. And, as a treat for cougar viewers, most scenes involving Connor show him half-naked, perky pecks on display with trousers half-mast, revealing rather fetching underwear. No wonder Carol can’t control herself, especially now that she’s let him stay at her place while he ‘gets himself sorted’. In fact, it looks like Carol’s been helping to sort him out in more ways than one! Who can blame her? Probably Bianca…

Cougar toyboy dating critics will no doubt have a field day with this storyline: It rather peddles the idea that the older woman / younger man liaison is merely about the woman’s need to mother her ‘catch’. We beg to differ – many women seeking younger lovers probably want a breather from mothering, and cougar toyboy dating allows them some freedom to feel youthful and sexy again.

December 6th, 2010 . Posted in Cougar/Toy Boy Gossip | 1 Comment »

Toyboy dating do’s and don’ts

The first few dates with your cougar conquest will probably involve dining and drinking at some point. Don’t expect her to pay just because she’s older and financially better off than you are. She’ll appreciate it if you at least offer to pay – it can make someone feel special and cared for, so do be prepared financially for this eventuality. You both might decide on going Dutch, but it’s always nice to be treated from time to time. On the other hand, don’t absolutely insist on always paying – a cougar lady might have been in a one-sided relationship where her former husband held the purse strings. Her financial independence is something she enjoys; she might want to take the initiative and treat the bloke for a change. Whatever the scenario, don’t be afraid to discuss money before the date to save spoiling the atmosphere with awkward fumbling embarrassment over the bill on the night.

Your mature cougar lady might expect certain behaviours that you’re not used to with younger women. Do be chivalrous and open doors for her, and offer a compliment about her attire. Don’t stare at her boobs – keep those eyes above her neckline to show some respect: Although cougar toyboy dating can often be more sex-orientated than more conventional relationships, she doesn’t want to be treated like the raspberry tart you’re having for dessert – at least not over dinner. Drinking too much is also a no-no – it won’t impress. Younger women might be slinging back shots and be happy to drink you under the table, but cougars are more classy than that.

If sex is on the cards then be prepared. Cougar toyboy dating is likely to be centred around sex and you might not be the first young man in her recent history. STIs are rife among your own age group and growing in the middle-age group, so do use ‘something’ – don’t expect to go bareback just because the risk of pregnancy is lower.

November 17th, 2010 . Posted in Toy Boy Tips | No Comments »

Sexy but sensible – careful cougar fun

Ladies, although we want cougar toyboy dating to be all about fun, sometimes we must address the tricky stuff: This week, on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour, there was a report regarding the increasing occurrence of STIs in female over-50s. The report concentrated mainly on HIV stressing that, although it was by no means a huge problem, new diagnoses are on the up.

Most of you are likely to be sensible in your midlife sexcapades, but we thought this was worth mentioning because, as the report suggests, cases are often initially undiagnosed in this age group until advanced. This is partly because doctors aren’t necessarily expecting to find HIV in post-menopausal women, so they misinterpret the symptoms as indicating other illnesses, and therefore the disease goes undetected and untreated.

One major reason for the increase is that pregnancy is no longer a risk at that age, removing one of the needs for using barrier protection. With more people divorcing and having affairs than ever before at this stage of life, casual sex is also more common. Some are contracting HIV because their partners have had affairs, others simply because they’re failing to use the right protection. As teenagers, HIV didn’t exist for this generation, but the fear of illegitimate pregnancy loomed large. Perhaps, with the pregnancy issue out of the way, people feel set free to enjoy unprotected sex. When HIV was dominating the media, these women were likely to be snuggled into marital monogamy, possibly believing that HIV could never affect them.

The advice from Woman’s Hour is that if you’ve had unprotected sex, or suspect a sexual partner has, then do trundle down to your local GUM clinic for a road check (don’t worry – they’ve seen it all before).

How about trying the female condom? Early models were notorious for crinkly noises akin to an empty packet of Wotsits. However, recent versions, made from nitrile rubber rather than polyurethane, don’t make quite so much of a racket. They also offer a greater area of protection than the toyboy condom. Have fun! But make sure it’s carefully covered fun.

November 8th, 2010 . Posted in Cougar Coach | No Comments »

New catches for celebrity cougars

I’ve recently brought myself up-to-speed with Cougar Town, the popular US comedy aired in the UK on Living TV and starring Courteney Cox as a forty-something divorcee on the prowl. Courteney earned her real-life cougar status by marrying David Arquette, but they are now separated after eleven years. Rumour has it that she’s stepping out with a mysterious co-star in Cougar Town. The chap in question is quite the grown-up though, being only five years younger. So, does Courteney still count as a true cougar?

I must say that I’m unimpressed by this so-called comedy. Much of it centres on shallow middle-aged neuroses such as wrinkle-worry and eating even the tiniest piece of cake being ultimate obstacles to getting a man. I’ve said it before – if younger men wanted to date stick insects they’d date younger, undernourished girlies and not be hanging out here hoping to meet ‘real’ mature women. Obsessive calorie counting as portrayed by a very slim character is not only an unhealthy message to be peddling, but also a highly irritating one. Casting Courteney Cox, a botoxed, nipped-and-tucked actress, is hardly a realistic representation of middle-aged cougar toyboy dating. Besides which, the idea is outdated that, once we hit forty, everything is suddenly heading south and therefore it’s harder to get a man.

In other cougar news, it’s looking like Madonna has dumped her extremely young toyboy, Jesus Luz, in favour of her choreographer, Brahim Rachiki. Again, the new love interest is slightly more grown-up, but, at thirty-three-years old, he’s still nineteen years younger than Madge, so she easily manages to hang on tightly to her sparkly cougar crown.

October 25th, 2010 . Posted in Cougar/Toy Boy Gossip | No Comments »

Caution! Cougar cake on the side

If you watch Eastenders, you might have noticed the recent development of a cougar toyboy storyline between Glenda (Ronnie and Roxy’s mum) and the handsome young Leon. While working in the bookies, Glenda performs her ‘come and get me’ cougar magic on him in a bid to prove her unceasing pulling power to frumpy old Carol. Leon has a girlfriend (the feisty Zsa Zsa) but this minor detail doesn’t stop him wanting to have his cougar cake and eat it. He plans a licentious liaison with Glenda before hoping to hit the road on a trip with his girlfriend. Zsa Zsa, being a spunky tough-cookie, finds out and reaps revenge by public humiliation. She lures him on sexual promises then steals all his clothes apart from his birthday suit, leaving him displaying family jewels that Queen Victoria herself would covet.

If you’re in a long-term relationship with Amazon-woman, you might want to think twice about the understandable temptations of that cougar-on-the-side if you want to keep hold of your chances of having children in later life! Of course, we understand that the very danger of this set-up could make the illicit tasting of toyboy cougar dating delights all the more sweet. I do believe, however, that it’s rarely a case of ‘if’ they find out, more a case of ‘when’.

It’s quite conceivable that your secret cougar lady might actually feel flattered that you also have a young attractive girlfriend, suggesting that she is still hot enough to compete with younger women. It could, however, come as quite a blow to a cougar’s self-esteem to discover (if she didn’t already know) that you’re attached to a much younger woman than she is. To the young lady girlfriend it might be insulting to find out you have two-timed her with someone old enough to be her mother. Try to be a good judge of the emotional state of those involved in order to avoid hurting people. ‘Open’ relationships can be ok if all involved are in agreement and know the score, but not if one person is unhappy with the situation. You could end up with more cake than you can manage, or you could be left without one single miserable crumb.

Have you been involved in any cougar toyboy triangles, and what happened? Would you consider having an illicit cougar toyboy affair?

October 6th, 2010 . Posted in Toy Boy Tips | No Comments »