Archive for ‘Cougar Bloggers’

Death solves all problems – no man, no problem
Joseph Stalin

In my mind, I know I am perfect. But, the actual truth is that I am not perfect … as much as I would like to convince myself of the contrary. . So, why am I disappointed when others are not perfect? People in glass houses can’t throw stones. I always have very good reasons to walk away from some man or other, the list is long believe me.

There are of course certain things I won’t put up with … violence, abuse, cheapness, no manners, lying and no ambition. I now have a new one that I won’t put up with…Marxism. Strange but true.

I was soooo excited when Alan asked me out on a date, he was tall.  I like tall men, ooooh yes I do! I am not in the least attracted to men I am eye to eye with or who are shorter than me.

Alan also had hair; I adore a good head of hair the Ross Kemp baldy look is not for me. So far so good a very presentable younger man and we were going on a date.

The bar Alan chose for our date was stylish, had good ambiance and a contemporary twist.

Unfortunately my date was not so contemporary he revealed over a bottle of delightful Italian Canti that he was a Marxist. He was even involved in setting up a new political party and had been arrested several times for clashes on picket lines and demonstrations

For those of you that don’t know, Marxism is simple really, the total population is controlled by the government, everything you earn and everything you have is shared by all whether you like it or not….in Marxism you want to be one of the rulers so you can get all you want. As George Orwell said “All animals are equal but some are more equal than others” Well I am a more equal kind of gal with as many shoes as Imelda Marcos and I don’t share!

I certainly could not see myself in a soviet flat in a crumbling concrete block such as those to be found in Russia or Eastern Europe. I lean more to the country house, luxury hotel standard of living.

The strange thing was I knew more about communism/Marxism than my date did. His excuse was he wasn’t interested in the past but in the now and the glorious future! Cue the anthem We’ll keep the red flag flying here…

So before I could poison my seriously boring date with radioactive polonium 210 a la Litvinenko, I made my excuses and headed for the exit, giving a sideways come hither stare at the gorgeous young man at the end of the bar, who knows he might be a raging capitalist and an old fashioned millionaire.

When I told friends I was joining a dating site, several of them told me to watch out for scammers. So I decided to look into what it is scammers do and took a crash course in the art of scamming, forewarned is fore armed I thought. Am I glad I did, because, they are out there!!!

Within a week of joining my first scammer hit on me. Calling himself Randy Perez.  He sent a chat request -they are as rare as hen’s teeth – and I answered. He immediately wanted to go to IM chat, I was cautious but agreed and what a waste of time.  He repeatedly asked if I wanted to be loved and treated like a queen, well who doesn’t?   Our chat was dull and apart from asking if I wanted a soul mate and undying love he would only answer “I See” when I answered his simple question such as do you like movies?

I had a bad feeling about the conversation which was not going anywhere so I told him so. The conversation was not flowing for me and I closed the conversation and blocked him. I received a MASSIVE  e mail telling me all about himself.  Everything but the kitchen sink thrown in.

Everything Randy did was classic romance scam he moved the conversation directly to an external IM because what is said on MSN, YAHOO, GMAIL etc. is not reportable to the website

He sent long emails giving tons of personal information, moved around a lot, only child, looking for love, widowed etc.

Randys profile disappeared off the site as soon as I blocked him

My second scammer was Brad Winters who claimed he was off to Chile because he worked for the US government. Considering he was supposed to have a master’s degree and work for the US government his spelling and constant use of i not I was a giveaway. As were his professional photos taken from a male modelling site.

He was also a widower who had been married to an angel a pearl of a woman; I knew more about his son’s school than he did! I actually sent him an email saying I believed he was a scammer and POOF!! He disappeared.

Last but by no means least was Graham Bagshaw, This is what he wrote:-

“From the very first moment i saw you I knew that we will do great together. It has been so long since a woman has captured my attention so fully or made my heart beat the way it did this cool day in september. Your smile lights up my entire spirit. Your laughter fills me with joy, and your mere presence with me on xxxxdatinggroup warm my house. I have no doubt you are the woman Heaven has made especially for me. Thank you for the comfortable conversations and for accepting me……”

I had never met this man, spoken to him on IM or in person, so it was obviously a load of old rubbish. I emailed him back the following:-

“I don’t know where you are from but you are not a real person > You are BLOCKED do not contact me again” Once again he immediately disappeared. Account deactivated. Surprise Surprise!!

This has not put me off, it’s part of the journey, somewhere out there is my Mr Wonderful, and he will be real and warm blooded and all mine!

Here are some useful tips to help you avoid the dating site scammers. These apply to men and women.

• They immediately want to get off the web site and onto Yahoo IM or MSN IM
• Their profile seems to disappear off the web site immediately after conversation begins
• They claim it was destiny or fate and you are meant to be together
• They immediately ask for your picture and they send you a picture of themselves
• They immediately want your address so as to send you flowers, candy, and teddy bears, often purchased with stolen credit cards
• They claim to love you either immediately or within 24-48 hours
• They immediately start using pet names with you: hon/hun baby/babe sweety/sweetie or dear/my dear
• They claim God brought you to him/her
• They typically claim to be from the US/UK (or your local region) but they are overseas, or going overseas
• Their spelling is atrocious
• Their grammar is not consistent with how British/American people speak
• They appear uneducated with their speaking/writing skills
• They over-use emotions
• They are notorious for using BUZZ
• They are notorious for using “i” instead of “I”
• They consistently use web speak or abbreviations; u r ur cos pls/plz ma sry brb div
• They often mix up their phrases: “i” will like to heer from you soonest, I am kool, Do you have any man you care to meet, Do you have any man you planning to meet, Looking for someone to love and care for in life, Am cheerfull in life, I will like to meet someone that is careing and loveing for real in life, “i” am too young for my age if you don’t know, Ok so how will you feel if i says i dont mind you, i will like you to be my best friend, You are so pretty for my likeness
• They misunderstand our slang or comparisons such as night owl/early bird, poker face

One good thing about Internet dating: you’re guaranteed to click with whomever you meet. – Anonymous

Well I have clicked, you’re proving popular today! Said the email from the dating site. There in my in box was a message from a younger man with a look of Daniel Craig about him. I rushed off a response, he replied and the next thing I know we were instant messaging, exchanging phone numbers and then talking in the real world.

He texts me, I text back, which is a great step for me, as I dislike texting and often ignore text messages.  It’s so exciting, nice voice to match the Daniel Craig looks; he is actively seeking an older woman and wants to date yours truly.  Yes!!

Then somehow it went pear shaped. He asked me what I was going to wear on our date, I said I wasn’t sure. No way was I going to to do myself out of the pleasure of trying on a dozen or so outfits before I decided on the one to woo my date.

My Daniel Craig clone became quite assertive he insists I must wear a skirt.  Now I don’t take well at being told what to do.  After all I am a grown woman and haven’t been told what to wear since I was a child. However I am a lady and bit my tongue and said coyly “we’ll see.”

The texts and phone calls continue and now Daniel Craig lets slip he wants “excitement” he is a thrill seeker. He has a job in catering and lives with his parents but claims he lives “on the edge” The edge of what?

Our ideas of excitement are not compatible, so sadly my date is over before it’s begun.

Not to worry, I will walk to the edge if need be, laugh , love, choose without regret, I will listen to what you say, appreciate my friends, continue to learn, do what I love and live as if this is all there is. Oh, must go someone’s just winked at me and I have a new message…

Mae West said “Don’t cry for a man who’s left you, the next one may fall for your smile.” So thinking positive and sticking my head above the parapet after quite a while on my own I pressed the pay pal button to subscribe to on line dating that I hoped would open the portals to love and romoance.

Whilst listening to radio 4 on my drive to work, I listend avidly to a programme about internet dating and stored the tips for later use on my quest.

Finding the right phoot was soooo hard, group photos with me at a friends wedding, hey thats me I am the blonde in the middle, or me with the dog, shows I love animalss but doesnt do the job. I opted for one where I was dressed to impress, which I thought suggested glamour and sophistication. In other words do I look like I am a tree hugger who enjoys fell walking!

Photo sorted, my profile was next how I stressed over what to say, be unique, be light hearted, be honest, these were the tips from the radio show.None of them worked I just rattled of f what came into my head tweaked it a bitand thought, “that will have to do”!With expletives which are not ladylike or printable here!!

Oh joy, photo and profile given the thumbs up, so its ciocs away and off I go into the world wide web, looking for love…