Archive for ‘Cougar/Toy Boy Gossip’

The video link below directs you to an interesting interview by Funmi Iyanda, an award winning Nigerian journalist. The two forty-something women discuss the pros and cons of cougar toyboy dating, although they don’t use those terms. There are some cultural differences, but the topics covered illustrate universal attitudes to older women dating younger men.

You might find some of the interviewee’s ideas controversial; they’re common but quite old-fashioned. The lady obviously isn’t quite up to speed with modern dating trends, although some of her response is based on her own personal preference. Funmi challenges her point of view. This will be fascinating for anyone considering age gap dating. The comment discussion below the video is also worth a read as it takes the debate further.

Or, you could just dive into yesmrsrobinson.com, have heaps of fun and ignore what the chattering classes are gassing about while you’re living it. http://www.lookingformarriedmen.com/looking-for-men/younger-men-and-older-women/

Have you been watching Waterloo Road (BBC1, Wednesdays 8pm)? In a storyline that Zoë Heller would be proud of, we have a teacher pupil love affair that’s bound to end in tears.

Young Miss Montoya, Spanish teacher with a tight dress, offered Jonah Kirby extra lessons that a hot-blooded young male couldn’t refuse. It was the student who did the seducing in this case, but Miss Montoya was increasingly attracted to him and fell in love. She knows her job will be on the line if anyone finds out, but she’s serious about him so finally decides it’s worth the risk.

In situations like this, there could be as little as five years between teacher and pupil if she’s fresh from training and he’s a sixth-former. It probably still counts as a cougar toyboy relationship since there’s a world of difference between an eighteen-year-old manchild and a twenty-five-year-old woman in terms of life experience and outlook. In this case, Jonah is particularly mature for his years having been home-schooled for much of his life. However, in many cases, having a man’s body doesn’t equals having a man’s mind.

I think it’s the illicit star-crossed nature of this pairing that is the furnace fuelling their attraction – perhaps on her part at least. Some people love having a secret and that keeps the frisson fizzing. I’ll be interested to see if it survives after reality kicks in, when she loses her job and they have no money to pay the bills. I’ll be surprised if this one has a happy ending. The programme must have a large school-age following and they probably couldn’t be seen to condone it.

So, if you have a heart-squeezing crush on your teacher, don’t expect the same reception as Jonah if you try to pursue it. And, when she knocks you back, don’t forget that you won’t be able to escape the embarrassment, seeing her day in day out and even having to have one-to-one chats about your grades. If you’re a teacher in love with a pupil, you already know how reckless it could be to overstep the mark in a position of responsibility. Either don’t do it, or make darn sure you never get found out.

We have five brand spanking new books to give away: ‘Cougars’ by Claire Irvin is due for release on 17^th March 2011. It tells the tale of Caroline Walker, a forty-something wife and mother whose husband does the dirty. This releases her into pastures new as she makes up for lost time, discovering the younger men she should have been dating in her twenties. Sound familiar?

Bag your copy! Follow us on Twitter then retweet. First five followers to retweet will be our lucky winners.

If you can’t wait until March, here are some other cougar toyboy tales with which to dive under the duvet in the meantime. I’ve missed out Mrs Robinson’s own story, The Graduate, since it’s taken as read that you’re on familiar footing with that:

Notes on a Scandal by Zoë Heller: Female teacher beds male pupil and ends up in sticky career pickle.

The Younger Man by Sarah Tucker: Divorced divorce lawyer engages in some water-cooler action with new boy at work.

The Cougar Club by Susan McBride: Three middle-aged betrayed women discover the importance of friendship and staying young at heart in a youth-obsessed world.

A Much Younger Man by Dianne Highbridge: Another ‘schoolteacher beds teenager’ novel. This has attracted sparkling reader reviews for tackling the situation with intelligence and depth as well as being a sexy read.

Eastenders’ cougar toyboy storylines are still bubbling away, keeping Carol and Connor on a rolling boil. This week, Connor mentions the ‘L’ word, which refreshingly shows the toyboy as the keener partner. This sends Carol running scared, despite her being hot for him. Who wouldn’t be, with that buff body and come-to-bed deep brown eyes? ‘Faaaamily’ issues are stopping her from going public not because of age shame, but because Connor is a crafty piece of work who was partly responsible for her brother’s shooting!

I’m still a bit disappointed that this storyline is hinting at Carol trying to replace her dead son – she makes a corker of a Freudian slip by using Billy’s name instead of Connor’s in the last episode. Why can’t it simply be about an older woman being liberated enough to take, and savour, what’s on offer in joyful sexual abandon? Although the situation between the two characters has enticing twists, Eastenders seem determined that cougars are mostly lonely older women with mothering issues. And we know that’s not always the case, don’t we?

They also show Glenda, glamourpuss granny and other Eastenders cougar, to be slightly damaged. She’s trying to overcome her love woes with a self-help book. This is mainly because Phil, abusive Neanderthal womaniser, has dumped her. Never mind that he happens to be her nephew! Only in soap-land, perhaps…

Still, it’s great that TV soaps make an effort to stay bang up-to-date by portraying age-gap dating. And, I like the fact that Glenda and Carol are flat-sharing, footloose and fancy-free cougar grannies! But Eastenders scriptwriters don’t treat their cougar toyboy pairings as credible relationships.

The role of Eastenders cougar has recently been swiped from gorgeous Glenda’s grasp and been taken over by frumpy downtrodden Carol, of all people.

It’s a strangely touching yet twisted storyline involving Carol seemingly trying to ‘save’ her dead son’s best mate – the one that helped lure Billy into gangland trouble. Carol is trying to make up for her failings with Billy by doing right by Connor. She’s taking a somewhat alternative tack with Connor, giving him a tad more than the (s)motherly love she bestowed on her son.

Their mutual empathy over Billy’s death cooled Carol’s anger towards Connor, but things soon reheated into bodice-ripping passion over Pat’s kitchen table. And, as a treat for cougar viewers, most scenes involving Connor show him half-naked, perky pecks on display with trousers half-mast, revealing rather fetching underwear. No wonder Carol can’t control herself, especially now that she’s let him stay at her place while he ‘gets himself sorted’. In fact, it looks like Carol’s been helping to sort him out in more ways than one! Who can blame her? Probably Bianca…

Cougar toyboy dating critics will no doubt have a field day with this storyline: It rather peddles the idea that the older woman / younger man liaison is merely about the woman’s need to mother her ‘catch’. We beg to differ – many women seeking younger lovers probably want a breather from mothering, and cougar toyboy dating allows them some freedom to feel youthful and sexy again.

I’ve recently brought myself up-to-speed with Cougar Town, the popular US comedy aired in the UK on Living TV and starring Courteney Cox as a forty-something divorcee on the prowl. Courteney earned her real-life cougar status by marrying David Arquette, but they are now separated after eleven years. Rumour has it that she’s stepping out with a mysterious co-star in Cougar Town. The chap in question is quite the grown-up though, being only five years younger. So, does Courteney still count as a true cougar?

I must say that I’m unimpressed by this so-called comedy. Much of it centres on shallow middle-aged neuroses such as wrinkle-worry and eating even the tiniest piece of cake being ultimate obstacles to getting a man. I’ve said it before – if younger men wanted to date stick insects they’d date younger, undernourished girlies and not be hanging out here hoping to meet ‘real’ mature women. Obsessive calorie counting as portrayed by a very slim character is not only an unhealthy message to be peddling, but also a highly irritating one. Casting Courteney Cox, a botoxed, nipped-and-tucked actress, is hardly a realistic representation of middle-aged cougar toyboy dating. Besides which, the idea is outdated that, once we hit forty, everything is suddenly heading south and therefore it’s harder to get a man.

In other cougar news, it’s looking like Madonna has dumped her extremely young toyboy, Jesus Luz, in favour of her choreographer, Brahim Rachiki. Again, the new love interest is slightly more grown-up, but, at thirty-three-years old, he’s still nineteen years younger than Madge, so she easily manages to hang on tightly to her sparkly cougar crown.

Rumours-a-plenty over the last few weeks are suggesting marital bliss on the cards for two of our favourite celebrity cougar toyboy couplings: Kylie has recently taken her beau, Andrés Veloncoso, down under to meet the parents on a trip home to see Danni’s new baby. Surely giving your toy boy a family airing is a rung up the commitment ladder? Gail Porter and Jonny Davies, fourteen years her junior, are also said to have future plans to tie the conjugal knot.

Interestingly, Gail Porter reckons that it’s all down to Jonny that her hair is growing back after she suffered alopecia when a former relationship ended. So, there’s seemingly no end to the possibilities of toyboy dating: not only to heal a broken heart but also to encourage previously redundant follicles to spring back to life – magic! Perhaps that’s why older men chase younger women – in a bid to reinstate former tresses – though it doesn’t appear to have the same effect; you can’t really count a toupee!

I’ve read some spurious articles recently about the cougar toyboy dating phenomenon simply being a media-constructed myth, or that it only happens in Hollywood. They were referencing a survey conducted by University of Wales Institute, Cardiff. The survey asked people about their long-term relationship preferences – but cougar ladies and toyboy men aren’t necessarily in it for the long-term. Perhaps if they had asked folk about their preferences for ‘a bit of fun’ they might have come closer to the truth. Granted, unusual relationships seem more common among celebrity stars, but that’s only because their shenanigans make it into the tabloid press. Just because Ms Everyday’s age-gap liaisons don’t make the gossip columns, doesn’t mean that she’s not out there having a fantastic time with young misters. If you ask me, this is simply another insidious way to tell women how to conduct their lives by denoting what is considered ‘normal’ in a bid to keep them ‘in their place’ lest they start having too much fun. After all, you’re here aren’t you? So, unless it’s all just a dreamy fantasy, we suggest that there’s definitely an increased interest in cougar toyboy dating, and our very own survey proves it.

So, if you’ve been reading such articles and you’re worried about being seen as some sort of social pariah, don’t fret, you’re among friends here at YesMrsRobinson and we hope you’ll all be delighted with each other’s company. Who wants ‘normal’ anyway?

Catherine Zeta Jones has recently expressed an interest in taking on further cougar roles after her latest film, The Rebound, a romcom in which her single-mum character dates a young student/waiter. She wants to prove that 40-something Hollywood actresses can still be sexual creatures and not sidelined due to their age. This comes as no surprise to me, especially since CZJ’s real-life husband, Michael Douglas, has always reminded me of the wrinkly old tortoise in the opening credits of BBC comedy ‘One Foot in the Grave’. If I was faced with that every night, I might just become intensely interested in extra-curricular after-hours activities with my young work colleagues. Besides, I’d never get caught – wrinkly old tortoises simply can’t keep up! And, they don’t have as much lovely hair to tousle – just a leathery old hump on all-fours…

The current cougar/toyboy media fascination could spawn further opportunities for actresses in their prime of life with a whole lot left to give. However, I do think it’s a pity that, in order to keep hold of their rewarding and fulfilling careers, actresses must do so by proving their worth through sexuality rather than previously demonstrated acting talent.

I must give an honourable mention to this rather remarkable Malaysian lady – Wook Kundar – surely the most senior cougar on the planet? She’s 108 years old, and back in 2006 she married her 22nd husband, a young slip-of-a-thing, 70 years her junior. They made the news again recently because toy boy hubby developed bad habits involving naughty drugs and had to do a year-long stint in rehab. Wook was slightly concerned about him being tempted by a younger model while ‘inside’, but they were recently happily reunited in marital bliss. So, take comfort from their story and forget ‘the math’ – the pluses far outweigh the minuses in cougar/toyboy dating land.

According to the Daily Mail this week, actress Cheryl Fergison (Heather Trott in Eastenders) has wooed herself a handsome new Moroccan toy boy. Yassim, the lucky young love interest, is nineteen years her junior, and the YesMrsRobinson crew are positively celebrating this happy union.

Not only did Cheryl and Yassim nurture love’s seedlings in cyberspace, but also they initially hooked up through a social networking site. Here we have another success story of worldwide web-land enabling the fusion of scattered lovers from all corners of the globe.

Another reason for raising a glass of fizz to Cheryl is that she doesn’t fit the usual celebrity toyboy-enthusiast template; she’s not particularly young-looking for her age and certainly hasn’t been quite as nipped and tucked as some middle-aged ladies-in-the-limelight. She’s real – and a hard working single mum to boot. Cheryl, with her ample proportions, is testament that any woman, not just your Courtneys and Camerons, can possess the powers of passion to pursue a relationship with a younger man if they so wish.

So, it’s all possible! And what better place to start than here, snuggled up under the (bingo) wings of Mrs Robinson, the ideal proving ground to help liberate you to the joys of toyboy dating?

Cougar women all over the UK are looking for their ideal cub according to a survey carried out for YesMrsRobinson.com.

The poll, involving 2000 women over the age of 40 revealed that four out of 10 are in the market for a younger mate – and a quarter of them already have a younger lover.

A cheeky 17 per cent of the women who took part in our survey admitted they would have an affair with a younger man if they knew their partner wouldn’t find out – while another 14 per cent confessed they often fantasise about having a man half their age.

Years ago, it was rare for an older woman to admit to a relationship with a younger man but that’s all changed.

It seems women everywhere are now emulating celebrity females who think there’s nothing wrong with cougar dating – and over half of the women surveyed believed that having a man a few years younger than them would help them to feel young!

The fact is that today’s 40-something woman looks and feels younger than ever and today’s modern young men appreciate the confidence and experience an older partner can offer.

YesMrsRobinson.com is the ideal place for older women to meet younger men – whether they’re looking for a serious relationship, simple friendship or no-strings-attached fun.

Our survey asked women to name their ideal Toy Boy and Italian celebrity chef Gino D’Acampo took the number one spot, followed by Star Wars hunk, Ewan McGregor.

The Top 30 Toy Boy wishlist was:
1. Gino D’Acampo
2. Ewan McGregor
3.    Singer Enrique Iglesias
4.    Chart-topper Robbie Williams
5.    Peter Andre
6.    Declan Donnelly
7.    Orlando Bloom
8.    David Beckham
9.    Ronan Keating
10.    Dermot O’Leary
11.    Colin Farrell
12.    Jude Law
13.    Ben Affleck
14.    Vernon Kay
15.    Leonardo DiCaprio
16.    Johnny Wilkinson
17.    Justin Timberlake
18.    Jake Gyllenhaal
19.    Russell Brand
20.    Thierry Henry
21.    Mathew McConaughey
22.    Ant McPartlin
23.    Ashton Kutcher
24.    Jamie Redknapp
25.    Frank Lampard
26.    Will Young
27.    Prince William
28.    Steven Gerrard
29.    Prince Harry
30.    Freddie Ljungberg

D’Acampo was a clear winner in our poll – he has that irresistible Italian charm and makes women laugh. The icing on the cake is that he can even cook his own supper!