I know you’re going to think this was all cunningly contrived, but I promise you it was an innocent lapse on my part. Remember my shopping trip last week? Well, I left my brolly in the men’s department where I bought the tie for my son – where I shamelessly flirted with the fetching young sales assistant.
Now, I might otherwise have avoided going back to pick it up out of sheer embarrassment, but it was a reliable and sturdy umbrella – one that I had, unusually, managed to keep in my possession for at least five years. And we have been having an awful lot of weather recently, so I bit the bullet and, after a quick squirt of favourite ‘never fails’ scent, off I went to reclaim my trusty old friend.
I have to admit that my heart was a bit of a flutter as I approached the third floor, but he was nowhere to be seen. Relieved but also slightly disappointed, I described my brolly to the (nowhere near as ‘tidy’) chap behind the checkout desk. Rather disconcertingly, a broad grin unfurled across his face and he nodded knowingly! He popped out the back to look for it, and I’m sure I could hear a strange stifled squawking coming from somewhere… As he presented me with my lost item, he looked like he was having some sort of seizure. I shot him my evilest ‘Paddington hard stare’.
Despite the obvious hilarity caused by my visit, I’m glad I went, because a few minutes later it started bucketing down. Up went the brolly and out fluttered a slip of paper! I fished it from the puddle and read an inky mobile number below the two magic words, ‘Call me!’ Now whose face was wearing a broad grin?