Yes Mrs Robinson Blog

Toyboy silver-tongued sweet talk

You’ve managed to bag a date with the mysterious sexy cougar lady that you’ve had your beady eye on for a while. But what does a young toy boy talk about to an older, much more experienced and worldly woman?

In terms of conversation topics, you mustn’t forget that there is an age gap however insignificant you feel that is. Chances are that she’s more likely to have interests in common with your mother than with you. Don’t, whatever you do, talk about your mother! Try not to mention how you still take your washing home to her on weekends, or that you still live at home, all tucked up with your Ninja Turtles, or similar. It will make you seem far too immature for her to consider any liaison possible. She doesn’t want to feel like a cradle-snatcher.

Don’t say, ‘My mum’s got a dress just like that’, even if she has. We are trying to avoid drawing attention to the age gap issue and the unleapable chasm that it might open up between you. The last thing any older woman wants to feel is just that – old! One of the reasons she’s dating you is that she wants to feel young again, but not quite to the extent that she wants to share all your youthly interests. For example, please don’t expect her to join you in staying up until all hours playing Grand Theft Auto, especially after sex. Not polite, and possibly quite offensive. Unless she’s IT-savvy, there might be gaps in techy-type knowledge too: Don’t be surprised if she glazes over when you flash your new phone with its fifty comedy ringtones and fancy apps.

You could compliment her on her looks – her clothes or jewellery. Not that we’re saying she’s superficial and you can woo her with flattery alone. Try to keep conversation current and up-to-date. You could talk about the latest films you’ve seen, books you’ve read, interesting or funny news items, TV gossip, community events, jobs, travel etc. Happy chatty cougar dating!

2 Responses to “Toyboy silver-tongued sweet talk”

  1. Trey says:

    So I am in my early 20s and this woman I have been seeing is in her mid 30s. Everything seems to be working out but she is still feels nervous about the age gap.
    We have talked about moving foward but she is worried that 10 years from now that I will regret jumping into a relationship with her. That I will regret not being with someone my own age.
    This woman is so amazing to me and I can see a wonderful future with her. My question is, what is the best ways to let her know I want her and no one else? How do I give her confidence that my love for her is not dependant on her age?

  2. admin says:

    Hi Trey,
    Apologies for the delayed response – I hope this relationship is still going strong.

    I’m wondering how long you’ve been together. If it’s still early days then perhaps until you’ve earned each other’s trust, she’ll be wary of a future together. But this would also be the case for any relationship, not just an age-gap one. With all the best intentions, who can honestly say they know for sure whether they’ll still be together after ten years?

    Does she lack confidence in other areas of her life? It might not be anything you can do much about if she suffers from a lack of self-esteem in general. The buck lies with her to sort that out. Perhaps there’s a class in self-esteem she could attend in your area? If you do the research, it might suggest a level of responsibility and evidence of caring on your part. Just a thought. Approach the issue gently though.

    Also, early 30s is a prime time for women to think about babies. Have you had the babies conversation yet? If a woman isn’t with the man she’s going to have kids with by this point in life, it can be worrying, and a big issue, especially as fertility rates drop off sharply after 33ish. Some women can be reticent to bring this up with new partners for fear of seeming desperate and scaring a man off. If you brought the issue up, it would demonstrate your commitment (if you want to have kids). She might need to know she’s got a reliable baby-daddy.

    If you’re absolutely committed and sure she’s the one, you could always pop the question! In the meantime, work on gaining trust. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

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